Costuming Class: Part I

It’s been very long time and finals are looming but... I decided to post about my costuming class that I started back in January…and subsequently dropped. I always start out with an extra class anyway so I can drop the one I like the least. :-)

It’s the first day of class and I’m sitting in the stuffy basement dressing of the performing arts centre with about ten other kids I don’t know at all. Finally, the teacher arrives and we begin to go over the syllabus. We are to meet twice a week and in different classrooms on different days. “But,” says our teacher, “We’ll be meeting in Robin’s classroom next Monday and then be back to the schedule next week.” The other kids nod, they obviously know who Robin is, but I am left to ponder these intriguing questions, “Where is Robin’s classroom? Why does she have a classroom? What does she teach? For that matter, who is Robin?!”

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Costuming Class: Part II

Very, very early on a winter morning some time ago, the first day of costuming lab went something like this: “Hi, I’m so glad you all came! Now I’ll show you around!” We obediently followed in a line down the hall to the cutting and sewing room. “Now,” she stood by an ironing board, “This is an iron....” (Really? We all thought it was just a strange steaming lump) She moved across the room, “And these are our cutting tables; this is a sewing machine and this is a serger—but you probably won’t need to use that in this class.” Our guide picked up a box, “This is your sewing kit: these are safety pins and these are straight pins; this is your tomato pincushion...you just stick your pins in it. (Really? Is that what a pincushion’s for?) These are your scissors, one for fabric and one for crafts—only use the fabric scissors for fabric or they get dull.” Closing the box, “Well, I think that’s about it. Now you’re free to leave early!” No, I didn’t laugh until I left; everyone else was taking it so seriously and I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But I did drop the class and got my money back.... I already know how to sew (real costumes...and with a serger!! :-D) and it seemed absurd to take a class to learn how to make a pair of pajama pants.

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Of Sports and Bibles

I’m watching the Winter Classic on TV with my brother and right now, it’s still 0 to 0. Besides being sick of the Rose Parade ("Look!!! This float’s decorative scrolls are made out of two-hundred-and-fifty-thousand white amaryllis!!!" That gets old after about two seconds. :-D) I think it’s pretty cool that they’re playing hockey at Fenway Park (can you tell I’m a Red Sox fan?) and it was even more cool when Daniel Powter sang “O Canada.” (I don’t want to sound all fannish but I admit that having him sing was a nice touch on the event planner’s part.) Another random note... When I asked my brother if he knew why Daniel Powter always wears a hat, he said, “Hezes zald?” My brother was putting his rubber bands on his braces at the time, so he was a little hard to understand. (And that’s not the reason Daniel Powter wears a hat.) And we’re waiting for the announcement about which NHL players made the USA Team for the Olympics. (That’s very important. :-) ) Anyway, the commercials are the same as baseball season... especially that one by Budweiser where they say, “The difference is drinkability.” Hearing that slogan reminded me of something that happened last summer. Our church decided to change our pew Bibles from the New International Version to the English Standard Version and to ease us into it, they had the ESV salesman come and talk to the congregation. I was unimpressed and a little annoyed by his speaking during church...not only do I prefer the NIV but there’s just something wrong about sales pitches in church. I kept thinking about the time Jesus overturned the tables in the temple and wondering if the deacon and elders would tackle me if I tried the same thing. Deciding they would, I just tried to tune out the salesman but that’s easier said than done. About halfway through the spiel, when the salesman said, “The ESV is so readable...” I leaned over to my brother and whispered, “The difference is readability.” We spent the rest of the service trying not to dissolve into fits.... :-) I think I’ve been watching too much baseball and hockey.

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Hoth

Yesterday, after church, when my siblings and I were putting on our coats and waiting for our parents to exit, I saw an older lady with her back to us in an enormous, shaggy white fur coat. (It wasn’t mink…frankly I’m not sure what it was...I've never seen one like that before.) “Yikes, look at that coat.” I whispered to my brother and sister. (We’re obviously such kind and sweet people.) My sister made a face and then my brother calmly said, “She looks like a Wampa!” And you know, she…um…actually kind of did. :-D



P.S. If you’re not Star Wars nuts like me and my siblings, then you might not know that, “Wampa ice creatures were carnivorous predatory reptomammals indigenous to the Outer Rim Territories ice planet Hoth.” (According to http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Wampa anyway... And what in heck is a reptomammal? :-D Who comes up with this stuff?)


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That Matchmaking Gleam

Okay, so the ceremony was over, and there was a little cake and punch reception at the church before the dinner reception somewhere else, and one of my Mom’s old friends came over to talk to my sister and I. She asked about our ages and school situations and then she said, “Do you have beaus?” I wanted to laugh but held it together enough to reply that no, I don’t have a boyfriend and exchanged a look of amusement with my sister as she said she didn’t have a boyfriend either. “Well, you know, there’s plenty of time for that…let me tell you how my sister met her husband at a hospital.” (Remember my sister is a nurse.) So she told us the story and it was a nice one and I liked it…but then, she said sorrowfully, “But, she lost him five years ago, in his sleep, and now she’s dying of cancer…so it wasn’t a happily ever after story.” I was completely stunned but managed to gasp “I’m…so…sorry.” My mom’s friend is very matter of fact and a Christian so she wasn’t being morbid but, yikes! She moved on then and a gleam came into her eyes, “Now, I do have three nephews and two of them are about your ages…” “Horrors! A matchmaker!” I groaned inwardly and exchanged another look with my sister. So, then she told us about her nephews and how they want to go to Med. School and how they don’t have girlfriends and all their good points and ages…. Sounded like she was trying to start a clinic or build a bridge or something. Such a nice lady but, oh, for pity’s sake, I don’t want to buy your nephews! :-D When we politely got away, I dragged my sister out to the hall and groaned, “Wasn’t that just awful?!” And then we practically collapsed laughing...it was all so ridiculous…we just couldn’t help it. :-)

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Skate Laces

My new ice-skates finally came! (The UPS man was very late today…why is it that when you really want something, he’s several hours behind schedule?) Though I’m not sure why I’m happy about it…. I still have to take them somewhere to be sharpened and attempt to find skate-guards since the stores don’t seem to be carrying them and then find a place to skate…. *sigh* Anyway, I was trying to lace them and I have to say, one of my least favorite things to do is put new laces in footwear. I don’t do it often enough and forget how they go and then they don’t look right to me and I have to rip them out. Poor Mom was trying to talk to me as I sat on the floor with four pounds of ice-skates on my lap and I think all she got out of me was, “I’m…very hot…how does this work…they’re not right! *rip* ...hate lacing…diagram would be helpful…they look funny! *rip* ...don’t talk to me right now….” :-) (Granted I was very hot because it’s been freezing cold in the house for days and I’ve been so cold lately that today I wore a turtleneck and thick sweater…and then it was 42 outside and the house heated up. Now (4:45pm) I’m cold again.) I wasn’t very happy…and they still aren’t laced to my satisfaction. *groan/sigh* In the meantime, I think I’ll try to track down some orange skate guards.

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Starting a Panic

As I was typing in my room, Mom called “dryer,” from downstairs because I washed my sheets today and was drying them. “What did she say?” asked my brother from the next room. “Dryer,” I said. “Oh, I thought she said ‘fire’.” When I went downstairs, I told Mom that she could have started a panic. Dad once told me that it’s illegal to yell “fire!” because it might start a panic and someone could get squashed. After Dad said this, my brother said, “Then we should yell “No fire!” :-D

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Evil Cookware

I had just fried an egg for lunch and was turning to get something else when I heard a loud hissing noise and my brother went, “Ahhh!” “Something wrong?” I asked, turning back to him. He had a kind of creeped out look on his face and said, “I was reaching over the pan and it hissed at me.” “Pans don’t like you.” I said. Maybe they don’t because he smashed one finger and burned another (not badly) while he was making his lunch.

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Things I Don’t Want to See in Your Christmas Letter

We’re being slowly flooded with Christmas epistles…from family and friends…and the boasters abound. Why is it that Christmas is used as an excuse to send out boastful letters? I don’t get it. Christmas is completely about humility―I mean, God came to earth and was born as an ordinary man in a common place―that’s about as humble as you can get.
So here’s what I don’t want to read or see in Christmas letters…I’m sure many of you will agree with me...and maybe I'll even add more things when more letters come. :-)

1. That your teenage daughter went to Japan with her “friend” Joe. (That actually makes me kinda sick. :-D)

2. That you managed to find a house in one of the fashionable parts of town. (We’re all real impressed.)

3. “I’m being tutored in Biblical Greek!” (At sixteen?! I like Greek but good grief!)

4. About your son or daughter’s new girl/boy friend. (Here today, gone tomorrow…tell me when they get engaged.)

5. Detailed lists of each child’s personal activities, hobbies, aspirations, and college perspectives. (Thank you…but we’re not looking to hire them for upper management.)

6. How you spent the past year in the car driving kids to various activities. (That’s actually rather sad…)

7. Brand-names. (We’re all so happy that you can afford a Lexus, Mac, or Coach bag and told us so.)

8. A list of places you went, what you did, and how great, great, great it was. (Never fails to be nauseating.)

9. Lots of posed pictures, edited on Photoshop, and strategically placed around the 2-3 page letter. (This isn’t a bloody catalogue cover…just tuck in one nice picture for us to put on the fridge!)

10. And in the last paragraph, tell us about your high-blood pressure problem or palpitating heart issue or breathing concern…and how the doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong. (We all know what’s wrong and how we know has something to do with how out of breath we felt just by reading about your life.)

I like hearing from people but why can’t they be honest and real? You’re supposed to be sending letters to people who care about you…so tell us what really happened and skip the bragging. Being blessed does not give you an excuse to boast.

P.S. Mom read this before you send out our Christmas greetings. :-)

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Take a Sad Song and Make It Better

Last night we were on the way home from dinner (just me, my mom, and my brother…my sister had to work and my dad had a meeting―on my birthday! Miscreants! :-D) and were listening to my new Beatles CD. No, I didn’t get the re-mastered mono box set *sob* *sob* but I did get #1 which has all of their number one hits. (Can you believe that Twist and Shout, I am the Walrus, and Sergeant Pepper weren’t #1 hits?) Anyway, Hey Jude came on and Mom, who had been singing along with nearly every song (I never knew that she knows the lyrics to so many Beatles songs!) told us how her swing choir danced to Hey Jude at the junior high to recruit the kids who would be moving up to high school. Apparently, they had to go out into the audience of 6th, 7th and 8th graders and try to get them to dance too. My brother and I thought this was extremely funny…I mean, Hey Jude is one of my favourite Beatles songs but it’s not the first one I’d pick to dance to…. We had trouble breathing when Mom said, “But they didn’t really want to dance and so it was like being in a Brady Bunch episode where nobody else had the script.” (That really does sound like a Brady Bunch episode from the later seasons…. :-D) By that point, I was laughing hysterically but managed to say, “Is that your memory of Hey Jude?” “Yes, I guess it is.” Mom laughed. “That’s really sad.” My brother said. “Take a sad song and make it better,” Mom said, which only made us laugh harder. “And, it’s kind of a slow song so you can only do a few moves to it…” Then, while driving, she demonstrated the dance…kind of grooving her shoulders and then clapping her hands together… which made my brother and I laugh so hard that we didn’t even care that her hands weren’t on the steering wheel. Though…I did have a vague feeling that we were driving on the wrong side of the road…. :-D (Just kidding…we weren’t.) Ah, Beatles music. It brings out the best (I hope) in all of us. :-)

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Today

Right now…I’m going to focus on the annoying things that happened to me today…which are almost always funnier than the nice things...right? :-)
This morning, I awoke from a dream that it was next week and the day of my cousin’s wedding. I’d miscalculated the time and was running around trying to get ready but kept getting hung up somehow. My hair wouldn’t obey or I lost my skirt or my top had a rip…and so on. Very annoying. (Next week though, I will remember to start getting ready way ahead of time. :-) ) I also had a dream that I could play the guitar…which I want to learn so I was mad when I woke up from that one and found that I still can’t play the guitar. How typical!
The book I inter-library loaned though Ick, by one of my favourite biography authors, was an utter waste of time. I skimmed though part of it last night and first, it’s supposed to be in Tudor times but the characters don’t speak with “thee” and “thou”… they speak like they just came out of the supermarket in Ohio. Second, (and much worse) it’s all mushy and kissy. Blecck! I hate mushy books! So now, I’m reading Wind in the Willows to soothe my injured feelings and the other book is going to be returned. I’m really quite surprised at this author…I expected better…especially since she wrote in the 50’s and 60’s. If she were still alive, I’d write her a letter expressing my sentiments.
We cleaned the entire house today (because the family is coming tomorrow for my birthday and oh my goodness! The house absolutely must be clean, clean, clean or they might slonk over dust bunnies and sue us! :-D) and moved the tree into the living room. We went out in the frozen cold yesterday to buy it but it wasn’t that cold and I do love real trees (you can’t make a fake tree smell real). I cleaned the bathroom (my job around here―yeah, fun, I know, but I keep them in top order) and asked everyone to not slime up the sink before tomorrow but we’ll see how well they do.
Tonight, when I took off the band-aid that I'd had on my finger since last night, the place where the band-aid had been looked all weird and shriveled like a corpse. (In short, the rest of me is alive but I think my finger died.) It was helpful though because later when my sister grabbed my hand and cooed, “Your hands are so soft!” I held out my middle finger and said, “Doesn’t this look like a corpse?” She let go quickly and I don’t know what she was squealing about…. :-)
My brother and I played Lego Star Wars (my one decidedly “non-academic” weakness) and he kept cheating me… I don’t know how he does it but he always steals my points! I build something and he takes all the studs or he hops in front of me and grabs the blue studs (1,000 points) before I can get there. *grrr* And worse, we have invincibility so my character can’t shoot his! When we get too mad at each other or bored, we turn off invincibility and have duels. Mouse droid races are also fun. If you don’t have a knowledge of Lego Star Wars you’re probably lost by now…so I’ll move on. :-)
I found old pictures of me at nine years old in a Bible study folder and oh my goodness, I looked fat! I have never been fat but people always manage to snap pictures of me looking like I’ve eaten nothing but pop tarts my whole life. *sigh* *groan* And, I wanted to throw the photos away but Mom wouldn’t let me and said they were cute. Cute!!? Oh well.
Lastly, something I’ve always noticed… when your birthday’s coming up people yell things at you like, “Don’t come in here!” and do things like stop talking when you walk into the room and then stare strangely at you. Happy Birthday. I guess the presents make up for the shunning beforehand…well...mostly.

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Strange Tastes

I’m in the middle of finals work (talk about nightmares for final exams you have taken!) and thus, my creative ability has been significantly diminished of late. I have a phone interview with the college that I really want to go to tomorrow night. I’m sure it’ll be fine…. *gulp* (Pray for me…please.) Anyway, as I drove home from Ick today and was trying not to think about finals, I remembered something I did back in the day which amuses me now. When I was three or four, Mom had a small Christmas tree on a card table (I think to keep the presents off the floor and away from little fingers) and I think there was a tablecloth over the table too. In any case, I remember taking a fresh package of cream cheese out of the fridge, getting a knife, and crawling under the card table to eat it. I know I got the foil package open and ate some of it with the knife…but I don’t remember how much I managed to eat before Mom looked under the table and found me. :-D As if that isn’t all… I used to eat frozen raw bacon from the butcher shop too. (I guess it is cured or smoked…but still….) My sister and I actually got away with that a few times before Mom caught us. My brother is also known to have tried to eat a stick of butter in a similar way to my cream cheese episode…. My poor mother… :-) (Don’t worry we weren’t habitually rotten. :-D) Ah, childhood. It’s a wonder anyone survives it.

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Dinner in the Hills

Last spring, we took a family trip and to do so, we passed though a heavily wooded and mountainous state. (which shall be nameless) At Olive Garden the first night, we had to wait at least 15-20 minutes for a table and when we finally got to one, my Dad says, “Where do all these people come from? I haven’t seen any houses.” “They come out of the hills after dark.” I said and then Dad said, “You'd better not say that too loud...these people probably have guns...big, big guns.” We were joking of course...but thankfully, I didn’t see any guns.

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100 Things That Should Not Exist

I found these at Sparknotes a few months ago--they're really funny. (And because I spent the afternoon working on a paper...I'm going to be lazy and not write anything new today. :-) )

http://community.sparknotes.com/2009/09/10/50-things-that-should-not-exist

http://community.sparknotes.com/2009/09/11/50-more-things-that-should-not-exist

I really like this one... 68. Nightmares about final exams for classes you've never taken. :-D

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